Family Shamily

Well, I survived the familial invasion. It was a stressful time mostly because our families are so different. In fact, they are so different that we have managed to go 12 years without them meeting!

• My parents watch TBN-my in-laws watch PBS and ESPN;
• My parents read the Bible - my in-laws read War and Peace;
• My stepmother loves to shop - my MIL still wears the same clothes she wore 40 years ago (I’m not kidding! REALLY!) and prefers to go to museums on her vacation instead of a mall;
• My MIL likes to ask a million questions - my father likes to talk about himself;
• My parents want a brand new house - MIL doesn’t know why anyone would build a new house when there are perfectly good shacks out there that just need a little update, like electricity and plumbing (in-laws have 30 year old carpet in their bathroom. ACK!);
• My MIL likes to drink wine, beer (in the can with a cozy thank you very much) and martinis - my parents don’t believe in getting liquored up (it makes for a long visit);
• My MIL views Piglet as an educational experience - my parents just like to play with him, and;
• My in-laws have money to burn and have helped with Piglet’s college fund - my parents are living on my dad’s social security (don’t ask where the retirement fund went - it is a long story).

During my parents visit I had to keep sneaking into my bedroom to check the Verdict Watch on Court TV. Five months of testimony and the jurors still have to deliberate his guilt or innocence. I didn’t even see the whole trial and I know he is guilty! The verdict needs to either come in before the end of this week or wait until the end of next week because I will be away from the television. Now Court TV has moved on to the Warren Jeffs trial. I can’t believe I am saying this but I think the charges are a little far reaching. That isn’t to say that he isn’t guilty of being a sex freak! Frankly, the girl’s mother should be brought on charges for letting her 14-year old daughter get married to her first cousin! And State of Utah - 14 is waaaaaaayyyyyyy too young for anyone to get married.

Coming tomorrow... Tomato will be blocking and I will be playing with swatches. Stay Tuned!

Happy Birtday To Me

Happy Birtday (not a typo. The explanation is here) to me! I had big plans for my day but had to cancel them because my parents showed up last night. Yep, I had 24 hours from the time my in-laws left to the next wave. I suspect my parents only came because they were jealous that the in-laws had been here to see Piglet. **sigh**

So, my plans for my birthday… I was going to take Piglet to his story time at the library and then after his afternoon nap we were going to have dinner with Big Boy before sending him off. See, this isn’t just my birthday; it is the day that we found out Piglet’s birthmother had chosen us. One year ago we were sitting in a very nice restaurant, drinking a nice wine and discussing the nice house we were going to buy in Williamsburg when we got the call. It is something we would celebrate privately, just the three of us. One year later… the restaurant is Outback, the wine is soda (parents don’t drink) and we are NOT living in Williamsburg, but instead bought the cheaper house that borders the ghetto. Oh, and instead of sitting up all night discussing our future, Big Boy is sleeping in the basement of an overpriced hotel and I headed to bed at 9:00 p.m. to avoid watching yet another episode of Funniest Critters and Hillbillies. Can you spell R-O-M-A-N-T-I-C?

Here’s the thing… my dad is a narcissist. So, all day he has been telling people that he came to see me for my birthday, but really it is all about how it makes him look and not about me. Did I mention that Big Boy left town today? Oh yeah! All night I have cruised the interwebs just to pass the time and not have to hear the 40th version of a story or stories about people I neither know or care about (wow, that sounds pretty heartless doesn’t it?). My parents are complete opposite from Big Boy’s. The in-laws are highly educated and like to view everything as an educational experience. They have perfect grammar and read War and Peace for sport. Mine… well… my dad likes to make up his own words and grammar is just the Maine way of saying Grandma. Are you feeling my pain yet?

I am trying to wait patiently for the guilty verdict to come in the Spector Trial (sorry Joan, couldn't resist). Normally I would knit the time away but my parents have the television so loud I can't possibly count in my head! And the cloud of cologne is keeps me from seeing the stitches. My dad likes cologne and lots of it. Mix that with Annabelle's rotten mushroom smell and you have a funky ho house on your hands!

Priceless

Cost of dog: $100
Cost of grooming dog: $75
Cost of Advil from headache caused by dog’s antics: $15
Cost of this: Priceless

Last week I mentioned to Big Boy that he should get rid of the giant mushrooms in the backyard before Annabelle ate them. I say Annabelle because she is the only one curious enough to do that. She sees invisible objects as it is so we don’t need to add pink elephants to that. On Monday Big Boy was mowing the backyard (Finally!) when he came to the door and told me to not let Annabelle inside. My first thought was that she found the injured bird she had been chasing on Saturday. So, I hesitantly asked which dead thing had she rolled in. Turns out she found the mushrooms. She rolled in the mushrooms. Apparently, the mushrooms were juicy! Big Boy tried wiping here with a wet towel, to no avail. Then, I jokingly suggested we use baking soda. Next thing I know, Big Boy has the box of Arm & Hammer and is pouring it on her back –her wet back. Yes, it made paste! She hung out in the laundry room all night and by morning she smelled a little less like cabbage and body odor and more like death. We didn’t bathe her because she is not the most pleasant dog to bathe. She kicks, she growls, she pushes all her weight into her shoulders and won’t budge. We pay people to torture her instead. But, she had just been to the groomer! I had paid them $75 to accidentally give her this sporty haircut. Now she just has a little after smell. You don’t really notice her stink until you have walked by. It doesn’t linger much but does sort of resemble cr0tch rot. Here is the kicker – the in-laws are coming tomorrow. Yep, my dog smells like old lady cr0tch and the in-laws come tomorrow.

Now, let me top off my week. Today Calvin was outside and Annabelle in when I noticed she was very worked up. I assumed that there were people in the back since school has just started and the lunch people like to smoke by our fence (lovely I know!). NOPE! The injured bird was back and Calvin was a determined Chow Pei. Just as I headed out the door he lunged for the bird and picked it up in one swoop. *sigh* At least he spit out the feathers before coming in. Now no one is allowed in the backyard until Big Boy gets home to do his manly duty of throwing the critter over the fence. Several years ago we determined that Calvin was the Ted Bundy of dogs - he looks nice, he plays well with people, he convinces you that he is cute and sweet but deep down inside he is a serial killer. Annabelle is Rosie ODonnell and Baxter is Jessica Simpson. They need no further explanation.

And now, as I sit here typing this, a man rode past on his bicycle wearing nothing but a Speedo that he outgrew 20 years ago. All this time of hearing about our city's crack problem and I thought they were referring to drugs. Oh, wait, he was wearing his helmet. Yep, gotta protect that brain.

My Tomato doesn’t smell much better than my dog. I swear this thing fit the first time I tried it on. I think part of it is the yarn. I am using Sonata, a yarn I don’t really care for. I suspect part of the fit issue is that I didn’t knit loose enough in the Fair Isle portion. I thought I had, but last night that band was really tight. My SIL is much smaller than I so I think this will be a gift for her. It is so cute though that I will probably make another one for myself in a different yarn. Maybe the Cotton Fleece (but in colors that won’t run!).

Ribbed Lace Bolero

Back

Front

Can you believe I have another finished item? For so long it seemed like the projects were never going to end and now I have two in one month!

Details:

Started: August 23

Yarn: Tahki Lima from Elann (about 3 skeins). It is now discontinued which is very sad. Why on earth do companies discontinue the great stuff and yet continue to produce some of the crap that is out there. The pattern calls for Cotton Ease but I wanted something warmer.

Pattern: Ribbed Lace Bolero.
I had plans to wear this over a sleeveless dress while on my cruise this month but after it was finished I realized that the color is wrong for the dress and it is really too bulky. *sigh* Oh well, I will still wear it, just with something else. The only alteration I made to the pattern was to lengthen the sleeves slightly.

Needles: Sizes 7 and 9. This project made me realize how much I love my Options. I had to use the Denise because I do not have a size 9 tip in the Options - I them on order now though.

Technique Learned: Sewn bind off. Takes a little longer than normal but was pretty cool to learn.

Have you seen my Fall issue of Interweave Knits? Me either. Back in June I decided to renew my subscription after they dangled the proverbial carrot in front of my nose. Who can resist the allure of a free issue and a free pattern! Anyway, I received the bill in August and sent a check the same day (nowhere in the information did it tell me I could speed up the process by paying online!). Turns out that has delayed my Fall issue. Well, sort of. It shipped around August 26 and, according to Interweave, should arrive here no later than September 28 - a whole month later. But, the story gets better. Last week I received a notice asking me if I forgot to make a payment because my subscription is about to run out. That would be my subscription that expires Summer '08! It even says Summer '08 at the top of the notice. So, I am asked to pay for something that expires a year from now, before I have even received the first issue of that subscription. HA!

Finally, Piglet enjoyed the morning at the park. He gets to play on the swings, go down the slide and bounce in the little truck. Just the way life should be!