Knotty Purls

"Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica"

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Pitching a Tent at the LYS

My town has two yarn stores – one, that is famous and one, that is infamous. I went to the infamous one today. They have moved. I wanted to give them a second chance. The old building smelled funny. The help looked like a serial killer. I had hoped things had changed with the new building. They have great yarns - a fantastic selection and great colors. Alas… As I am unloading the stroller I notice the serial killer husband at the front door watching me. Oh well, he has no personality so he won’t be bothering me. He holds the door for Piglet and me. I lean down to fix Piglet’s blanket and that’s when I see it – The Tent. IN HIS PANTS! It can’t be. Maybe his pants are just bulky. Maybe his wife is just one lucky gal (but only if she puts a bag over his head first! YUK). He asks if I need anything. Um, A CAN OF MACE no thanks, just looking around. I keep him in sight at all times. It can’t be. I pretend to be looking at some yarn but I really look through the rack to where he is standing. IT IS STILL THERE. I hear someone in the corner (actually, behind the curtain that is supposed to divide some sort of office right in the middle of the store). Ok, maybe I can look around a little more. I look over again, IT IS STILL THERE! I leave, nearly bouncing Piglet from his car seat as we bounced over the sidewalk not bothering to look for a ramp. So, I won’t be going back there. They can sell the Hope Diamond and I will not be going there.

Of course this led me to ask a few questions…

1. This store has never had more than one customer at one time. How do they make enough money that the Serial Killer can hang out there during the day?
2. Serial Killer and his wife are never talking (at least civilly) so what is going on in the yarn store to make you want to pitch your tent? Is there Yarn Porn?
3. Or, is the Serial Killer just desperate and a woman who has showered today and is pushing a stroller all it takes?

Somehow these things always happen to me. I don’t know why. If it is weird and insane, it will run right smack into me.

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