Something Died Inside My Head

Ohhhhh, I have the crud. Last week I started feeling bad and thought it was a combination of Aunt Flo and the in-laws but, as it turns out, something was crawling into my sinuses and camping out there. I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and by 5:00 yesterday I finally admitted that I was sick. I think DH believed me when I fell asleep on the sofa, at 7:00! He finally kicked me upstairs around 8:00. Before heading to bed I asked him to do 2 things for me. I awoke this morning to discover that not only had he NOT done them but DID do other things which created more work for me. Sigh. He was supposed to write a check and sign the contract for our attorney in Wisconsin – a little important dontcha think? He was supposed to put the rotisserie chicken in the fridge so that I could make broth for the dogs today – it’s still on the counter, breeding germs. He DID put up the curtains in the office and dining room, which I had to take down this morning because the contractors are not done painting the windowsills. I do love the man; I just hate his ADD!

Anyway, I managed to finish the Shetland Triangle Shawl while the out-laws were visiting. Mostly because it made me look busy so there would be less conversation. It blocked quite big which thrilled me but I am still glad that I put in 2 extra repeats. I thought I would share a conversation I had with MIL so that ya’ll will understand why they drive me insane.
MIL: I NEED to dry some clothes and I don’t see a place to hang them outside. YOU don’t have a clothesline!
K: Just hang them in the laundry room, they will dry in there.
MIL: (later) WHY did YOU turn off the dryer?
K: I didn’t. It turned itself off.
MIL: WHY would it turn itself off?
K: Because it does that at the end of a cycle.
MIL: What cycle?
K: Whatever cycle you set it on.
MIL: What cycle did I set it on?
K: I don’t know, I wasn’t in the laundry room when you started the dryer.
MIL: I didn’t set it on a cycle.
K: Well, you must have otherwise the dryer would not start.
K: (goes into laundry room to look at dryer) You have the dryer on the touchup so it only runs for a few minutes. This cycle is just for keeping clothes warm so they don’t wrinkle. You need to set it on the timer.
MIL: Where is the timer?
K: These numbers down here – 10, 20, 30 – that is the timer.
MIL: What do the numbers mean, I can’t see any numbers.
K: The big bold numbers that take up 3/4 of the dial. They correspond with how long you want the dryer to run.
MIL: How long do I want the dryer to run?
K: I don’t know. What are you drying?
MIL: CLOTHES
K: (beating head on side of dryer hoping for death) Just pick one!
MIL: This is such a fancy dryer with all these buttons.

Keep in mind kids, this woman has a Master’s in Education for an Ivy League college! She also argued with me that a winner from American Idol had sung at their 4th of July festivities last year. She said that the woman was over 50 and overweight. When I informed her that it just wasn’t possible, she continued to argue with me. Turns out the woman who performed was Gretchen Wilson who a) never participated on American Idol; b) is not 50 years old; and c) is not overweight. And DH wonders why I wanted to work 3 days last week!