Pattern Hell

Thanks to all for the wonderful comments about Piglet’s photos. He was sort of a Valentine’s card – the Picture People had a special on their cards and photos and voila, he became a card. It is enough to keep the grandparents happy! If MIL mentions one more time that her photos are getting worn out I might have to strangle her – it’s called a photo album!

Next, ya'll should take a moment to check out the Scottish Lamb's blog and watch the video. But, get the box of tissues out first 'cause you won't have a dry eye.

So, onto the post that matches the title. Last night I sat down to start the Stocking in Vogue Knitting Holiday 2006. This is not an easy pattern. I started on DPN’s but somehow screwed up and had to start over – this time on a circular. I will move this mess to DPN’s when I absolutely have to. Anyway, I know that magazines only have so much space and have to cram the directions into the two pages left in the back (heaven forbid they cut out a couple of the hideous patterns). I HATE, DESPISE, and DREAD patterns done in paragraph form. My brain just doesn’t work that way. To make matters worse, the lack of clear direction complicates the situation. So, this is where I got lost at 10:30 last night.

Round 1: *[p2, k2] 4x, p2, pm, k4, pm, [p1, k1] 2x, p1, pm, k4, pm, p6, k6, p6, pm, k4, pm, [p1, k1] 2x, p1, pm, k4, pm; repeat from *

Round 2:*[p2, k2] 4x, p2, sm, k4, sm, p2, k1, p2, sm, k4, sm, p6, k6, p6, sm, k4, sm, p2, k1, p2, sm, k4, sm; repeat from *

Rounds 3 & 4: Work rounds 1 & 2 one more time.

Round 5: *work row 1 of chart 1, sm, work round 1 of Left Twist Cable, sm, work 5 stitches in seed stitch, sm, work round 1 of Right Twist Cable, sm, work row 1 of chart 2, sm, work round 1 of Left Twist Cable, sm, work 5 stitches in seed stitch, sm, work round 1 of right twist cable, sm; repeat from *.

Rounds 6-78: Work in pattern established for a total of 78 rounds..

Here is the question… is the “pattern established” rounds 1-5 or repeating round 5 and substitute the next row of the charts for “row 1” of each of the charts? I tried to post the jpeg file of the instructions and charts but Blogger didn’t like my file.

In every other pattern I have made, “pattern established” means to repeat the prior rows as they are the “pattern”. Somehow I don’t think that is the case here since there is this lovely 48-row chart that would not be used.

Finally, the chart... there is a "-" in the box and the corresponding legend says "p on right side, k on wrong side". Um, it is knit in the round so wouldn't it always be the right side? Why can't they take a minute to make the chart/legend match the pattern instead of using a generic description that is just more confusing?

I have tried a google search of this pattern but since it is just called “stocking” I get thousands of hits, none of them by someone who has struggled through this piece of shit pattern wonderful piece of artistry. Any thoughts?

So, what does all this mean? I have to rewrite this pattern so that it flows for me. Call me stupid but I need step-by-step instructions.